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05 May 2005 @ 12:19 pm
The More You Know.  
Vin Diesel was the real creator of Spawn, not Todd McFarlane. In fact, Vin Diesel IS Spawn, and using his awesome hell powers, he thought up the greatest sci-fi movies ever, including Alien, Blade Runner, and Terminator. He also starred in all of them, as both the main characters and as the monsters, and his favorite roles were those of Newt, the Alien Queen, Pris, and John Connor, while simultaneously impregnating all the supposed people who played the above-mentioned roles, and causing all of them to give birth to their own grandchildren, because his semen is really Red Bull energy drink.

Vin Diesel will kill you, your whole family, all your friends and burn your damn house down if you don't write his name in bold.

Vin Diesel is the third Olsen twin.

Vin Diesel occasionaly wears live rattlesnakes as a condoms.

Vin Diesel knows what it's like when doves cry.

Vin Diesel was the leading agent for the Bay of Pigs fiasco, and would have pulled it off even without air support, had Castro not challenged Diesel to a game of Spades. Diesel easily won, but was too late to save the invasion, and so he is haunted by the ghosts of dead Cuban revolutionaries.

Vin Diesel can cut 2" thick steel piping using only his rectum and Beatrice Arthur.

Today's lesson brought to you by Patrick Swayze, Paul Gross, the letter 'Vin' and this informational website. <"/font">
 
 
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Current Music: Dies Irae, Tuba mirum, Rex tremendae, Recordare, Confutatis, Lacrimosa-Ursula Buckel
 
 
 
Adoable Frunk: kant tipelyra_sena on May 5th, 2005 04:20 pm (UTC)
And he does it all while only having the ability to grunt half-formed sentences!
Sweet Melissavorsythia on May 5th, 2005 05:34 pm (UTC)
I just couldn't get over this one:

Vin Diesel once had an in depth debate with Oprah Winfrey on the merits of capitalism. He sat and thought about his conclusions for five months on top of Mt. Fuji and as an afterthought he crapped out an exact 1:1 replica of the Eiffel Tower in its present form.
Kay Delucauntappedbeauty on May 5th, 2005 08:01 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*

I totally shouldn't have looked at that when I knew I had homework to finish, but I couldn't resist. One of my personal favorites:

After reading an article about the Frenchman who eats bicycles and household appliances in a children's "fun facts" book, Vin threw the book to the ground, screamed "That fucking pussy ain't worth shit," and proceeded to eat everything in his mansion, including (but not limited to: ) two Porsches, a Ducati motorcycle, a 60" plasma screen TV, four maids (two Puerto Rican, one caucasian, and one Chinese,) half a stick of butter, and a box full of broken glass. He then ate the house tself, "for good measure." This all occured over a three-day period last July.

Best site ever! Thanks for linking to it.