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27 May 2004 @ 01:44 am
I...god help me, it's more Nifra Sue.  
This...I've had a rough day. My podlet has had a rough day. People all around seem to be having a rough time of it. I thought maybe a little Nifra Sue would help cheer everybody up, so here it is, my obligatory shame:

*waves shame*

And on to the story. (Also, it's set post A Better World. I know. I'm weird. Just...yeah.)




"You guys really have to start telling me when you're going to randomly drop out of the universe for the space of a few days, okay?" Nifra said, tapping her toe as the door to the Watchtower's elevator opened. "I mean, didn't you say something about those comm sets being, oh, I don't know, literally universal*?"

"There were some -- " Superman began, and Nifra whirled around in her chair, arms crossed.

"I watch the news. I know. There were evil duplicates of you, whatever. You guys always kick the crap out of the clones, and you've got, like, twenty million messages on your voicemail from the Fortress. Which is unaccountably bitchy for an AI," she said, raising an eyebrow and leveling a glare at the Justice League as the stumbled into the bridge.

"They weren't clones," Green Lantern said tiredly as he drooped into a chair. "They were us."

Nifra blinked, thought, and then nodded. "Bizarro world?"

"No, another alternate dimension," Flash said, suddenly appearing leaning against the console. "I died. They turned evil. It was kind of neat for a vacation, but you wouldn't want to live there."

"Neat?" Superman echoed, disbelieving. "You think it was neat that we were all -- and I was -- did you *see* my outfit?"

"Honey, I have *no* idea how it is you've managed to convince the majority of the people down there that you're straight," Nifra told Superman shaking her head. "I mean, really. So you guys were evil? What did you do -- play the Macarena in all public places twenty four hours a day?"

"Not *that* evil," GL said, rubbing his forehead.

"Oh, no, just despotic rulers of the entire planet," Hawkgirl quipped, and Nifra sat up straighter, eyes flickering over toward Batman.

"You mean to tell me *he* was some kind of tyrannical ruler or the whole Earth or something?" she asked, incredulous. "That's the worst alternate dimension *ever*! Including the one with the big talking rats!"

Batman drew himself up and glared at Nifra through his mask, and she glared right back. "Your priorities never fail to be completely out of place."

"This coming from Mr. I Don't Know What Day It Is But If You Need Napalm, I've Got Some Right Here In My Belt," she replied. "A world in the palm of your hand would be a world filled with people wearing black rubber body suits, and to me? That sounds very definitely like a version of hell. Besides, even though your powers are now being used for good, Darth, I shudder to think what would happen if you used them for evil."

"Do you really always need to bring my costume into it?" Batman asked, very obviously gritting his teeth. "The rubber protects me from -- "

"Feline STDs?" Nifra offered, with a cheerful smile.

Flash fell over onto the floor laughing, and GL put his face in his hands, making undignified snorting sounds. Superman edged toward the door, eyeing Nifra and Batman cautiously.

"Oh, here they go again," Hawgirl muttered, picking up her mace. "I think I'll go see if there's anything in the kitchen. Wonder Woman said something about cookies..."

Batman flexed his hands, fingers bending as though he had Nifra's throat between them and he was throttling her. When he spoke, his voice was low, and gravelly.

"Dimensional travel has been known, in the past, to cause bouts of homicidal rage," he said, ominously.

Nifra's smile only got sunnier. "Good thing there are so many super heroes around, Dictator for Life Batman."

"You do realize that you're toying with death, right?" Flash asked from the floor as he knuckled away a tear from his eye. "I mean, one day he's totally going to space you."

"One day very soon," Batman added.

"No, he won't," she said. "He's too noble for that. Sure, he does tortured and dark like a life style choice -- which, hey! It is! But he's a good guy. Hence the whole him-being-here-thing."

"Are you sure?" Batman asked. "Perhaps I'm not your Batman at all. Perhaps I'm from the alternate dimension."

"Oh, please, you're totally not Batman version 2-point-evil," Nifra said, sounding thoroughly unconcerned. "And by the way, I could so totally be a better ruler of the world than you."

"You could *not*," Batman shot back, shocked. "You're disorganized, you're lazy, and you haven't even the slightest modicum of self control, not to mention -- "

"Yeah, sure, I'd probably be drunk with power at first," Nifra admitted, leaning back in her chair, smiling. "I mean, what girl wouldn't immediately demand Brad Pitt and Christian Kane as her own personal oiled man servants? But beyond that -- "

"Oiled man servants?" Batman repeated the words with disgust. "And this is somehow preferable to me?"

"My world," Nifra proclaimed, "would be a fun world. Big drinks with little umbrellas for all. You know what I'm saying?"

Batman stared at her for a long minute. "You're saying that you'd turn the world into Margaritaville."

"I guess...I mean, not how I would have put it, but that's fairly accurate," Nifra said after a moment's thought.

"I *hate* Jimmy Buffet," Batman and Nifra muttered in concert.

The room went still -- Nifra staring at Batman, Batman staring at Nifra, and Flash and GL watching them both. Each face bore similar shocked and horrified expressions.

"We just agreed," Nifra observed.

"We...yes. We did," Batman grudgingly conceeded. "Accidentally."

"Yeah, accidentally," Nifra hurriedly echoed, before shaking her head, as if to clear it. "That's really strange. I mean...just...oodles of odd."

"Yes, it is," Batman said grimly.

Nifra's eyes widened. "That's twice now!"

"Hey, GL," Flash whispered. "Are you sure *this* isn't Bizarro World?"

"No," GL replied, shaking his head. "I'm really not."





 
 
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: Falling Is Like This - Ani Difranco
 
 
 
Adoable Frunk: diana what nowlyra_sena on May 26th, 2004 10:48 pm (UTC)
This made me laugh, especially Darth and his feline STD protector suit.

*snugs my podlet*
pure FORESHADOWING: broken supermannifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:42 pm (UTC)
Oh, Darth. Darth of the rubber ears.
Lady Day: myashke2ladydey on May 26th, 2004 10:51 pm (UTC)
I think you'd have a fight for Christian Kane on your hands, whether or not you were ruler of the world.


You can have the world, I want Christian Kane.

pure FORESHADOWING: open sky - crazy perfumenifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:44 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I'm short, but I'm fiesty. You don't want to test my kungfu! *adopts fighting stance*
Lady Dayladydey on May 28th, 2004 09:51 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but I know that I would fight dirty for Christian. There wouldn't just be slap fighting. No there would be hair pulling. Watch Out Now!!
Astrea: Bats/Flash OTP A Better World by meastrea9562 on May 26th, 2004 11:20 pm (UTC)
You are the ebil!
And I laughed so hard, tears rolled down my face!

You're insane - you know that, right?

And.I.still.lub.you!

Of course, now I can't get that damn song out of my head!

*Still chuckling dementedly*

Yeah, it might be the AU Nifra's and Bat's to each other considering that you/he agreed!

LOL!

That...

...or the Apocalypse!

*smooch*

pure FORESHADOWING: angelina sexnifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:45 pm (UTC)
Re: You are the ebil!
You're insane - you know that, right?

I...yes. *hangs head* Oh, I know. I sure do.
anathema: sv boothanathema666 on May 27th, 2004 12:11 am (UTC)
Oh, I just love this. Thanks for the glimpse into your damaged psyche, baby. Don't stop, you're red hot.
pure FORESHADOWING: CRAZY EYES!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:46 pm (UTC)
*laughs* I'm red hot...and a TOTAL RAVING LUNATIC. But at least an amusing one, I guess.
Clannadlvr: subtext- Clannadlvr (base-ghengis)clannadlvr on May 27th, 2004 12:11 am (UTC)
just perusing the friendsfriends and...*dies laughing*

Really. I'd love to come back and visit your page, but before doing so, note to self:

*do not read nifra_idril's entries while enjoying beverages as said beverages will end up on computer screen due to uncontrollable laughter*

Just too damn cool!
pure FORESHADOWING: absolut!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:47 pm (UTC)
*laughs* Yeah, man, watch out for that whole beverage-monitor thing -- that's one of those things that leads to The Blue Screen of Death (aka The Only Thing My Last Computer Ever Showed Me). But I'm glad I made you laugh...what with my CRAZY and all.
Tiny Timmy Tokyo: random - you rock blarghslodwick on May 27th, 2004 12:37 am (UTC)
Good grief, I do adore NifraSue. *g*

"This coming from Mr. I Don't Know What Day It Is But If You Need Napalm, I've Got Some Right Here In My Belt," she replied.

*cackles*
pure FORESHADOWING: Bobcatitude!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:49 pm (UTC)
So peachy keen you could just vomit, eh? *grins* That's...I feel special. Very...special and good. About that vomit thing.

*giggles* I'm glad you like NifraSue, though. She's...I'm...oh, hell, I'm crazy.
Dolimirdolimir_k on May 27th, 2004 03:27 am (UTC)
Heh heh heh.

This was such a great way to wake up this morning. I really love NifraSue.

Nifra + Batman = 4eva!!!!

*snerk*
pure FORESHADOWING: DevilLobster - Caronifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:50 pm (UTC)
*eyes you* You're not...this isn't...you're not in any way pairing NifraSue and Batman are you? That's...I...*shakes head, trying to figure out why exactly she feels like her own second cousin suddenly*
CJ Andrecjandre on May 27th, 2004 05:38 am (UTC)
heh - supes just kind of bugged out on that, didn't he?

He is so whipped.

I want Nifra Sue to walk in on someone having a dalliance with the bat.

bwhahahaha

Thanks for the morning pick-me up - this was FUN!
pure FORESHADOWING: charisma!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:53 pm (UTC)
I want Nifra Sue to walk in on someone having a dalliance with the bat

Now that...that's a very workable idea indeed....*files it away for further nonsense*
Doctor Science: squeee!mecurtin on May 27th, 2004 05:56 am (UTC)
Nifra Sue is my hero. You must link to the earlier installment for greater ease of laughing my butt off.
pure FORESHADOWING: big pimpin'nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:54 pm (UTC)
*grins and salutes* Ay yay, captain!
Anne: Lex fallentobyfan on May 27th, 2004 06:23 am (UTC)
Hee! Cute. I like these stories. Please keep writing them. *g*
pure FORESHADOWING: In chargenifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:55 pm (UTC)
*is laughing* Your icon pretty much describes accurately how I feel about NifraSue, and yet...I love and hate NifraSue as I love hate myself...Sorry, I need to stop watching LOTR. Oh, there will be more Nifra Sue, worry not. Or, worry. Whichever is appropriate -- I don't even know.
CapnZebbiecapnzebbie on May 27th, 2004 09:54 am (UTC)
Does NifraSue have any super powers besides being able to piss off Batman in a single bound? I like her. A lot. :D
pure FORESHADOWING: LexCorp Legal Dept.nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:57 pm (UTC)
*grins* NifraSue's super powers lie mainly in her flippancy, and her inability to remain cool in any kind of situation.
Celli: Flash owcelli on May 27th, 2004 12:14 pm (UTC)
"Oh, please, you're totally not Batman version 2-point-evil," Nifra said, sounding thoroughly unconcerned. "And by the way, I could so totally be a better ruler of the world than you."

*crying with laughter*
pure FORESHADOWING: Clark RHPSnifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:58 pm (UTC)
*grins and pats you on the back*
Yavanna: Lex smile by oxoniensisyavannauk on May 27th, 2004 12:45 pm (UTC)
Bwahahaha!! Nifra Sue roolz!!
pure FORESHADOWING: Chloe!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 08:59 pm (UTC)
*giggles* And you ROXXORS! (I probably even spelled that wrong...I am such a dork. *shakes head at self*)
Sage: world's finestsageness on May 27th, 2004 02:32 pm (UTC)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! *dies laughing*

Yay NifraSue!!!

*loveslovesloveslovesloves*

More? Soon? *bats eyelashes*
pure FORESHADOWING: Chloe/Faithnifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 09:00 pm (UTC)
*laughs* Oh, more definitely. When's an interesting question though, I mean Nifra Sue is like the Spanish Inquisition...
RivkaT: good to mamarivkat on May 27th, 2004 05:48 pm (UTC)
This is very funny. But I think now Nifra Sue and Batman have to get it on, in the way of all bickering couples since the beginning of comic book time.
pure FORESHADOWING: Bobcatitude!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 09:02 pm (UTC)
I...I don't even know how to respond to that. *flails* It's...I mean...that's just so..Nifra Sue and Batman can't get it on! How can anyone have sex with anyone who wears a black plastic suit and and and!!!

...*laughs weakly* I find the whole idea troubling. And yet, oddly appealing...
fashes iliafashes on May 28th, 2004 12:26 am (UTC)
Nifra-Sue and batman 4ourEVAH!!11!
*cackles*

This is the best fun!
pure FORESHADOWING: CRAZY EYES!nifra_idril on May 28th, 2004 09:03 pm (UTC)
Re: Nifra-Sue and batman 4ourEVAH!!11!
I'm glad you enjoy it, hon! Even if it is a sign of my rapidly deteriorating mental stability!
the opposite of batman: monkey drinking cokepearl_o on May 31st, 2004 08:10 pm (UTC)
You never sent me your address, monkey!