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15 July 2004 @ 03:33 am
this has not been a banner night for my sanity  
This is *all* sageness and slodwick's doing. I...just wrote it. But they did it! *points*





"Whatcha lookin' at?" Nifra asked peering over Superman's broad blue shoulder.


"I, nothing!" Superman said quickly, whirling around so taht his cape covered the monitor. "Nothing at all! I -- there -- I thought maybe there was dust. On the monitor. And I thought maybe I should -- with the paper towel and windex. It's -- there was nothing. Nothing at all. Hey! You look nice!"

Nifra narrowed her eyes and raised an eyebrow as she tapped her finger against her forearm. "You were watching something juicy. So *spill*, Kryptonian."

"I..me? Lie? To you?" Superman smiled widely. "I know better than that."

Nifra's other eyebrow raised to join the first. "I still have all that soymilk, you know. Just keep that in mind."

Superman paled. "You wouldn't...you wouldn't replace the cream again," he said, sounding more hopeful than sure.

Nifra took advantage of his distress to lunge over his shoulder and look at the monitor.

Where she saw a naked man, soaping up his dark hair. "Well it isn't Luthor, because he isn't bald," she said with a sly grin over her shoulder. "So tell me who the new crush is, Superman?"

"It's, I...he...we...," Superman stammered.

"What's interesting about that is that it's a whole bunch of pronouns, and in no way answers my question," Nifra said with a cheerful smile. "So how about you try again?"

She turned back to the monitor and waggled her eyebrows. "Whoever he is, he's got a nice butt."

"It's -- ah - it's." Superman muttered something, shuffling his feet and staring at the floor.

"I don't have superhearing. Civilian, remember?" she prompted, turning back toward him.

"Batman," Superman whispered.

Nifra fell out of her chair.

"That -- that -- that's -- I --" Nifra pointed hysterically at the monitor, staring in horror before scrabbling to turn it off. "Ohmygod my eyes!"

"It's -- bleach! I have to ahve bleach! Oh, god, I said his butt was cute! Oh jesus! This is -- I can't -- how *could* you?" she asked, wheeling on Superman. "You knew who it was and you let me -- oh, *man*!"

"I tried to hide it?" Superman offered, still sounding miserable.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Nifra said, looking around the room wild eyed. "This isn't happening to me. I can't...he *sings* in the *shower*?!?"

"Put your head between your knees," Superman advised, hovering worriedly.

"I'll never be able to face him *again*," Nifra moaned, dutifully putting her head between his knees. "I mean -- he wears those *ears*! And I've seen him *naked*!"

"I, uh, I meant *your* knees," Superman said helpfully.

"Oh, right," Nifra said. She sat for a moment before pushing herself up and pacing across the room, waving her hands wildly. "It's just that he's ---- and I -- I need a *smoke.*"

"I've seen him naked too," Superman consoled.

Nifra shot him a glare over her shoulder. "And you *liked* it, Captain Queer."

"Well...yeah," Superman agreed, with a grin.

"Of *course* you did," Nifra ranted, "becuase you've got this -- you've got this *thing* for autocratic control freaks with weird costuming choices. But, what you don't seem to be getting is taht we -- he and I --- are...we're nemeses. But in that fun way, you know? That way that doesn't involve me being in Arkham?"

"You should be in Arkham," replied Batman from the doorway.

Nifra whirled around, eyes wide. "Oh, God, I've seen you naked," she blurted, staring.

Batman started visibly.

Superman choked. "I -- I'm just going to go be...I'm going to go do important things in my room," he said, waving lamely as he ducked out of the room.

"You've seen me what?" Batman asked, sikily.

"Naked," Nifra said, before adding quickly, "vulnerable. I mean, I've seen you come back from fights pretty upset. And you know, very...very raw. Nude emotionally, if you will."

"I won't," Batman said.

"Right, and I totally understand that," Nifra said with a quick nod. "I get that. You're not that kind of guy. Not the kind of guy to do that emotionally naked thing at all. Okay, I've gotta go, bye."

She ducked out of the room as fast as she could with a quick, panicked smile, leaving Batman baffled on the bridge.

Taking a deep breath, Nifra squared her shoulders, and stalked toward Superman's room, already plotting her hideous revenge.
 
 
Current Music: One Song For You
 
 
 
Edmund Crankypants: Lionel Meretanitac588 on July 15th, 2004 12:41 am (UTC)
Oh my... LMAO!!!! This is hilarious!! Thanks Nifra! I needed that today.
pure FORESHADOWING: angelina sexnifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:05 pm (UTC)
*grins* I do what I can.
Sagesageness on July 15th, 2004 12:58 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*

I love it! And I'll happily take the blame!!

You know, after this, poor Bruce is never going to shower in the Watchtower again! Or if he does, he'll be wearing the cowl. Or showering in a pitch black bathroom...since you know, he'd never do something as logical as turn the camera off. :P

This was fabulous! I can't wait to see what Nifra does to Supes!
pure FORESHADOWING: breathlessnifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:06 pm (UTC)
The showering with the cowl on thing made me giggle and giggle and giggle.

And damn, you, no, you won't force me to write another cracked out shwoer story! *holds firm*
Tiny Timmy Tokyo: random - primatus fabulousslodwick on July 15th, 2004 01:23 am (UTC)
Nifra dutifully putting her head between Captain Queer's knees has to be my favorite part, man. Too, too funny, and I don't feel the least bit bad for encouraging, though, it must be pointed out, this is entirely your fault. Entirely. *g*
pure FORESHADOWING: CRAZY EYES!nifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
I -- no! Not my fault! There was -- I -- it---

*sighs heavily*

Damnit. It is my fault. All my fault. *hangs head*
Astrea: Oh Clark!? held in grin by Sandramastrea9562 on July 15th, 2004 02:22 am (UTC)
LMFAO!!!!!!

*MWAH*

Ebil genius, babe, that's you.

*g*
pure FORESHADOWING: In chargenifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day! *snugs you*
Dolimirdolimir_k on July 15th, 2004 03:20 am (UTC)
That was freaking hysterical! I love it!

And it definitely put a smile on my face this morning!
pure FORESHADOWING: DevilLobster - Caronifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC)
Awww! Yay! I'm glad to hear that!
Celli: Chloe grincelli on July 15th, 2004 08:21 am (UTC)
BAHAHAHAHAHA!

*hides under desk so coworkers can't hear her laughing*

This completely made my day. *rereads a third time* Emotionally nude???? *dies*
pure FORESHADOWING: Cheekynifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:09 pm (UTC)
*giggles* I...I just...I know. I can't help myself!
Meret: goddessearthmeret on July 15th, 2004 10:42 am (UTC)
Bwahahahaha! So funny! :)
pure FORESHADOWING: charisma!nifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:10 pm (UTC)
*grins* I do try.
Yavanna: Wow! by lapetite_kikiyavannauk on July 15th, 2004 11:29 am (UTC)
Bwahahahaha!!! This is a true work of evil genius. *bows down before you*
pure FORESHADOWING: Chloe/Faithnifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:11 pm (UTC)
Me? An evil genius? That's -- you're too kind!
.: flash - ain't no superman (papercranes)hackthis on July 15th, 2004 03:32 pm (UTC)
"I'll never be able to face him *again*," Nifra moaned, dutifully putting her head between his knees. "I mean -- he wears those *ears*! And I've seen him *naked*!"

"I, uh, I meant *your* knees," Superman said helpfully.


Harlot. Really, I thank god that you're a harlot, because this totally made my day.
Tiny Timmy Tokyoslodwick on July 16th, 2004 12:35 am (UTC)
omigodimdesperatelyinlovewiththaticon!!1!

flash woobie!
.: kon - easily broken (papercranes)hackthis on July 16th, 2004 09:16 am (UTC)
It's gorgeous isn't it? papercranes made it for the titans_together.
pure FORESHADOWING: giles mack daddynifra_idril on July 16th, 2004 02:12 pm (UTC)
*scratches head* I...I try?
.hackthis on July 16th, 2004 02:29 pm (UTC)
*laughs*

Yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to say.
fashes iliafashes on July 17th, 2004 12:03 am (UTC)
EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

*dies*

Oh my... f... GAH!!!

*flails about in a dying dead way*

I have not been this gleefuly happy in *weeks*. Thank you! You are the twinkly star in my dark night sky! My face hurts from the hugeness of the grin. There really is just no way to express how happy this makes me. If I had any kind of talent I'd make you something.
Sarahgiddyfangirl on July 17th, 2004 11:48 pm (UTC)
"I, uh, I meant *your* knees," Superman said helpfully.

*DIES*
Amanda Jadeselectclientele on July 21st, 2004 12:37 am (UTC)
*giggles madly* Love it :D