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29 August 2004 @ 02:06 am
Denial, Anger, Sorrow, Bargaining, Acceptance  
The Five Stages of My Writer's Block Tonight

10: 00 pm - It's not that I can't write right now. It's just that I have found new ways to explore my crush on Ioan Gruffudd and wanted to do a ridiculous poll. I mean, God, why would I want to write when I could be doing that? How foolish. I'll just keep doing this for a few hours and stare and stare and stare...

11: 00 pm - Except that that's boring, dammit! I don't want to stare! I've stared at everything already! I want new things to stare at! Like words! Written by me! I love writing words! One letter after the other! One word after the other! One sentence after the other! It's like leggos, but abstract! And less colorful! And I haven't done it in days ! That sucks!

12: 00 am -It sucks so much I'm going to cry . Writing is all that matters to me, and not writing feels like death I tell you, death . But what's the point anyway? My writing is never going to be as good as I want to it to be. It's an impossible goal to attain, and besides, I should be writing on the original stories just sitting on my hard drive that I'll never finish because I have no talent and am a hack.

1: 00 am - What if I just wrote a tiny ficlet? Just one tiny ficlet. Could I manage that? Could I write like, a drabble? About, about, about Clark feeling guilty about something? I can usually do that. That's my bread and butter, baby. Well, huh, if I can't do that, maybe I could just -- write a couple of opening sentences. Get that done at least. Maybe I could do that.

2:00 am - I am not going to write anything tonight, no matter how much I want to. Also, I am a ridiculously melodramatic human being. I need to chill out . And, ooh, hey, is that candy?
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Mercury - Counting Crows
Qqe2 on August 29th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
for what it's worth:
...I think you're a dynamite writer. And versatile, which is useful and inspiring (if also slightly depressing to those of us who are, well, not so much with that :-).)

And you're one of the few people I've ever read who can write eloquently about writing. That sort of meta work brings out most people's inner self-absorbed Poet With A Capital P. Not so for you.

I've always thought that the Muse takes vacations for a reason. Yours will return.
Hammyangryhamster on August 29th, 2004 09:57 am (UTC)
i had this exact same feeling last night re: my art, so *total* sympathy. maybe you just need some time off? or, like me, some extra pressure? i sent out a call for custom art, maybe you could do the same for fic, and *having* to do something for a specific someone might get your gears working?
Aelora: rift - kelexaelora on August 29th, 2004 12:15 pm (UTC)

I go through this exact monologue at least once a day. Hell, sometimes twice. Only the names change.