OMIGODWTF WHY WERE YOU NOT PLAYING BASEBALL!?!?!? *freaks out and tears hair* GUYS! I loved you! I trusted you! You're still number one to me, but you do this to me NOW? NOW WHEN I HAVE SPENT ALL DAY HUBRISTICALLY MOCKING MY RED SOX FAN FRIENDS!?!?
*crawls into a hole and dies*
OMIGODWTF WHY ARE YOU SPEWING SV STORY IDEA AFTER SV STORY IDEA AT ME AND WHY ARE ALL OF THEM HIDEOUSLY CRACKED OUT!?!? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STOP THAT! KTHXBAI!
OMIGODWTF WHY AM I STILL NOT TELEKINETIC!? You can't possibly have a good reason for that. I mean, really, you're just dragging your heels. Get on it. Stat.