For a while, I was thinking about writing a parody of West Side Story where I'm Maria and Tony is the human embodiment of free time and our love is so doomed! Songs like, "Tonight, Tonight, there's only porn tonight! Porn to read! Porn to watch! Porn to write!" and "A time like now, you write a paper! A time like now, you can read fic later!" and "I feel writey! Oh-so-writey! I feel writey, and porny and gay!" would all have made appearances.
Then I realized that by writing up such an entry, I would make all of you visualize me trying to do jazz hands and dance with my crutches. And, while hilarious, this is a mental image which we should all be spared.
The second option, then, was the concept of the progress report, as I usually do. This, too, got out of hand. When I was down to things like "Possibility of you ever saying anything that doesn't begin with OMGWTF ever again: OMGWTFNEVERAHAHAHAH!!!" I realized that this format may well be played.
Lastly, I thought about doing a word association. Example:
Paper: SHIT I HAVE NO TIME!!!!
Test: SHIT I HAVE NO TIME!!!!!
Stench: MY KITCHEN!!!!! SHIT I HAVE NO TIME!!!
That seemed perhaps too fraught with exclamation points, and so I was thwarted once more. Curse you...someone! *shakes fist vaguely* I'll get you next time, Gadget. And your little dog, too.