There is nothing quite so humbling as waking up only half on your bed, and half off your bed to the sound of children screaming with joy outside, talking about how beautiful it is. It is beautiful, of course. But in a soul-crushingly bright kind of way.

Dear God, I have to go write papers. But before I do, I should probably invest in some -- sea-legs or something. The ground is a treacherous place under my feet today; it keeps wobbling and moving.




1. I was waiting for a cross-town train in the London underground/ When it struck me that I've been waiting since birth find/ A love that would look and sound like a movie Guessed by slodwick! Clark Gable - The Postal Service

2. Take a little trip, take a little trip/ Take a little trip and see/ Take a little trip, take a little trip/Take a little trip with me Guessed by slodwick! Low Rider - War!

3. I'm wide awake/ She's upfront upshot upstart up in every case/ The kind of girl that whispers thank god for you

4. Feelin' like a hand in rusted shame/ so do you laugh or does it cry?/ Reply? Guessed by slodwick! Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots!

5. Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe/ Love is a banquet on which we feed Guessed by slodwick and biichan! Because the Night - 10,000 Maniacs!

6. She's a hunter, you're the fox/ the gentle voice that talks to you/ won't talk forever Guessed by slodwick! All That She Wants - Ace of base!

7. I want to be your lover/ I want to wrap you in rubber Guessed by stopawhile and slodwick! Pink - Aerosmith!

8. So needless to say/ I'm odds and ends/ But that's me stumbling away/ Slowly learning that life is OK Guessed by slodwick! Take on Me - Aha!

9. Bodies in the sand/ Tropical drink melting in your hand/ We'll be falling in love/ To the rhythm of the steel drum band Guessed by krisdia! Kokomo - The Beach Boys!

10. Well, they'll stone when you're trying to be so good/ They'll stone you just like they said they would/ They'll stone you when you're trying to go home/ They'll stone you when you're there all alone Guessed by pearl_o and slodwick! Rainy Day Women #12 & #35 - Bob Dylan!




I wish I might

1. Finish anything that's got a plot line.
2. Write something that people don't immediately react to as being sad.
3. Sleep a little bit in the next few days.

I hereby resolve to

1. Write more feedback than I do, and get over my bizarre insecurity re: emails and feedback, where I let myself get crippled by fear of not saying it *just right* when I try to tell someone what I like about their story.
2. Calm the hell down about my yuletide assignment.
3. Do laundry.

I know I can

1. Be more confident in my writing.
2. Trust myself more.
3. Do the dishes.

I Desperately Want

1. A smaller waist-line.
2. A starbucks peppermint mocha latte whatever the hell it is that tastes like delicious delicious mint in coffee format.
3. A kitten.

I hope you know

1. That the human head does not weight 8 lbs, no matter what that cute little boy in Jerry Maguire says.
2. That I appreciate each and every one of you, more than you probably know due to my weird fandom insecurity.
3. That the deep parts of the ocean are a fascinating place.

And, some story recs:

1. No Angel Came (SV, Clark/Lex, Spoilers for Spell) by rivkat - This is a beautiful, heartbreaking story. RivkaT knows Lex -- I mean, she really *knows* him, and writes him utterly flawlessly. Each detail in this story, each line, has a gem in it -- it's fucking note perfect. This is Lex Luthor, being slowly slowly pulled apart, and you need to read it.

2. Chrysalis (dS, Fraser/Rayk) by cherryice - This story isn't told so much, as unfolded somehow. The author deals out the details one by one, and you don't know what you're looking at until the very end -- it's like impressionism, through story telling, and I really love it. The RayK voice is just so *there* and effortless to read, really. There's nothing about this story that feels forced -- it's this slow unwinding, and it's gorgeous.