You know what I feel is deeply lacking in Smallville in general? Your mom jokes. I love your mom jokes. And this a show about a teenaged boy. And has he made any your mom jokes? No! Will he? No! Because Clark's too mannerly. Also, with Chloe and Lana...it's kind of a sensitive subject. Lex, too. Besides, Lex, unlike me, is too sophisticated for your mom jokes. The only Smallville character who might ever say 'your mom' would be Pete. Because, see, Pete's got no 'mom' issues and he's a teenaged boy! Without Clark's compulsion to be a gentleman (read: Martha). This is not to say that Pete's not a great guy...but he'd say it. I know he would. I feel it in my bones.

(That's part of me trying to establish some kind of connection with Pete. Becuase I find myself not caring about him sometimes because, oh look, no one on the show does either. Which makes me sad.)

Back on topic, though, I feel that 'your mom' is the appropriate response to just about any question. Example:

"What kind of shampoo do you want to get? The strawberry scented, or the passion flower scented?"

"How about the 'your mom' scented shampoo?"

So maybe some people out there are thinking that this doesn't reflect too highly on my intellectual and emotional maturity. You know what I say to those people? That's not what your mom thinks!

Okay. On a completely different topic:

I had one of the biggest dork moments I've ever had in my life today. And trust me, that's saying *a lot*. I was painting walls the way my job kind of requires me to do, and I took a break to paint my hand instead. The color used was white. And I thought to myself, "Self, that looks like the white hand of Saruman." So what did I do then? (No, not your mom, but that's a good answer!) I reached over and put my big ol' painted hand on my friend's forehead and proclaimed her a fighting Uruk-Hai and then promised that she would taste man-flesh tonight.

Do you see what I mean about huge dork moments? As I said. Massive. Dork.

Also:

Watched Heat again last night. What amazes me is that everyone on the show is gay. Even if they don't know it, they really are. Except for Martha and maybe Jonathan, but it would warm some dark and twisted places in my soul to read Jonathan/Lionel. As I said -- those places in my soul are very Dark and very Twisted. But they would be warmed.