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11 May 2005 @ 07:39 pm
Oh my God, I am a human vortex of destruction. I just broke my refrigerator. I opened the door, looked at it, and it just -- everywhere. Broken glass, condiments strewn across the floor. It's like mythic in proportions. There should be a ten foot radius around me at all times, protecting the harmless appliances that I break by being near them. I'm going to go try and get the french onion dip out of my socks, and maybe cry a little.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to mention the fact that I put many of the less broken condiments back INTO the fridge, hoping no one would notice. I am a horrible human being.
Current Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
Current Music: Is This Love-Bob Marley-Legend Remastered (Disc 1)
.: a kind of miracle (twilightbadgirl)hackthis on May 11th, 2005 11:46 pm (UTC)


It's okay; it'll be okay. Just, you know, NO RED BULL.
pure FORESHADOWING: Bad Example! - Snowflakesleepnifra_idril on May 11th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
Z, it's -- there were shredded beats in a plastic container? and now they're hanging out of the gaping rend (facing the back of the shelf) like little purple entrails. Also, I panicked at first and picked up scallion pancakes that had fallen on the floor, washed them off, and shoved them back into the refrigerator. I've since thrown those away, but...really. WHO DOES THAT?? Only me. It -- it VOMITED the first shelf at me!

I'm a menace to myself. *hangs head*
.: i'm zen dammit (ikonography)hackthis on May 11th, 2005 11:53 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, I just, how exactly did this happen? Did you put a bomb in the refrigerator, because if you do that it will explode, I know this. Do you lock an animal in there or something, a la, Jumanji. I just, I've never heard of a refrigerator vomiting without cause. Was there an earthquake? Did you kick and it responded? *pets* Poor, Nifra.
pure FORESHADOWING: Clark RHPSnifra_idril on May 11th, 2005 11:57 pm (UTC)
It's like my fridge had this complicated Jenga thing happening in regards to the lode bearing capacity of the first shelf, and I wasn't aware that it was Fridge!Jenga time or something. I put my hand on the cranberry juice, and that was it. The tower toppled, you know. On to my feet.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being punished for something vaguely evil in a past life - only vaguely evil, though - by being forced to live a life that could, easily, double for a much higher octane and drugged version of the I Love Lucy Show.

Either that, or all appliances are scheming together to bring me down, which is somewhat more unnerving.
.hackthis on May 12th, 2005 12:36 am (UTC)
On the bright side, however, at least you have lots of things *in* your refrigerator. You've got me beat already!
Condemned by the Space Pope: Mmmmfood (sexy avodaco)metron_ariston on May 11th, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC)
I would do that... you don't just throw away scallion pancakes. :o
pure FORESHADOWING: absolut!nifra_idril on May 11th, 2005 11:58 pm (UTC)
But you also don't eat off my floor unless your stomach doubles as a hazmat lab. I don't even walk barefoot. It's a scary place, my kitchen. Filled with strange and unexpected dangers.
shayheyredshayheyred on May 12th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC)
Ah, another fridge-killer. I destroyed a refrigerator by chipping away at the ice in the freezer and inadvertently piercing the freon coil. Sad thing was, I couldn't afford a new one, so I lived with coolers for three weeks until my parents took pity on me.

Welcome to the club.