Secondly: I am in an incredibly cracked out mood. I am a ball of giggles. I am one with my vino. My hilarity cannot be surpassed at this moment. No, but really.
Thirdly: Do you ever get completely out of nowhere fears that someday you're going to end up on COPS, and what will you do with your life then? I do. God, I do. You will know that day has come when I begin working ceaselessly on a tome of philosophical thought meant to enlighten our children, because really, that's the only way to live down a COPS appearance.
Fourthly: I'm Vin Diesel, bitch.