(I am writing this first sentence sitting in the bathroom of the room I am sharing with my mother, reading porn at midnight on a Sunday while across the hall my grandmother is attempting to intimidate the dogs into falling asleep by sticking her tongue out at them. Ten minutes ago my aunt tried to poor beer on my head "to thicken my hair out enough for people to build bridges with," so I retreated. Yes, boys and girls, this is my life. Thank you, and goodnight.)
2nd, written one day later: I am so sunburnt it is incredible. Oh, the ocean.