pure FORESHADOWING (nifra_idril) wrote,

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I will only say this once.

But it bears saying: when you go to the bathroom in the woods at night by yourself while you carry around a half empty bottle of champagne like a complete and utter slag (Britspeak: yes or no? Did I do it right, did I?), bring a flashlight with you. If you do not, there is a high possibility that you, as I found myself doing, will lose your underwear, particularly if they happen to be black as deepest night. When you have lost your underwear, the next step here, in order to not embarras yourself fully, is to not stumble and fall into the light of the party and announce right as the music breaks that "OMG I AM NOT WEARING PANTIES ANYMORE". When everyone is staring at you? Don't immediately start bubbling panicked quasi-French. Because when you do, your cousins will begin to wonder if you're posessed or having a seizure.

This morning, as I checked my email, I was talking to rageprufrock and pieces of the night began to float back to me and settle into a horrific patchwork quilt of humiliation, absurdity, slapstick comedy and ridiculousness. If you ever find yourself saying, "Oh my God, I just remember that last night I nearly agreed to be that man's kept woman!" then you've had a night like I had last night.

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