Imagine being awakened to an apartment filled with dirty dishes - none of which are of your making. Imagine rain sleeting down from the heavens as though it were planning to wash you and all of your squalid vices out into the Hudson River where the toxins in the water would kill you pretty much immediately. Imagine a parking ticket waving like a yellow flag on the windshield of your car, as though saying "You will pay, oh wretched one, you will pay for your excesses and absurdity." Imagine a phone call conversation with your mother wherein you must explain some of the finer points of not acting like a very immature middle schooler. Imagine classes that seem to never, ever end, and a cold that chills you to the bone.
And then, oh my friends, ah my foes, imagine lamb prepared by your own hands. Imagine the smell of it curling through your apartment and the taste of it exploding happily upon your tongue as you stare triumphantly out at the rain. Ahh, the bliss. I could, in fact, happily fall asleep on the floor of my living room right now, utterly satiated.
Food, glorious, glorious food. And a refrigerator that is sparkling, spotlessly clean due to my own labors. There is little better in life. Little better, indeed.
Though, you know, America's Next Top Model's pretty good, too. I mean, not food caliber good or anything, but certainly a pleasing thing.
Other Topics for Discussion:
1) Rob Lowe: Why are you 'The More You Know' guy on David Spade's new show? I'm sure you'd make more money as a highly paid escort. Had I money, I would pay you to escort me. Scrape together your dignity, man!
2) My back: solid concrete, or part of my body? This has yet to be decided by the back in question, but right now it's doing a fairly creditable concrete impression.
3) Laundry: I must somehow persuade myself that Febreeze is not, in fact, a real substitute for cleaning my clothes. As long as I have clean underwear and dry socks, I generally feel okay about schlepping around, heavily Febreezed. Today a professor sitting next to me in my class breathed deeply and said, "Hmm, they must have just cleaned this room. It smells like air freshener." This is a sign from God, I understand this. And yet, still, the two flights of stairs to the washer/dryer seems so utterly insurmountable. And let's not even talk about the requisite folding of clean clothes that happens afterwards. Please, let's not.
4) My inability to do really much of anything other than sit where I am and stare blankly at the wall: I must go to sleep. No, but really.
5) Author imitation: I keep thinking that I want to start a fic with a line like the first one of Pride & Prejudice, but really, "It is a universal truth that..." is just a messy, messy business to decide upon a fandom with. Because really -- universal in terms of SGA would be a little to punny even for me. Shocking, I know.
6) yuletide: Good God, the more I think of the fandoms I'm considering offerring to write in, the more I terrify myself.
7) Inappropriate rhyming: The other day a conversation with fox1013 had me finding rhymes for "throbbing manflesh" (really, don't ask) and I've been obsessively trying to come up with as many as I can. Sadly, "Topping Phil Lesh" and "Robbing Bangledesh" are the only ones I seem to be able to think up that involve real words.