2. STOP!!! Constipation Is A Serious Health Issue! You are not to be treating it lightly!
3. THE WAR ON EPHEDRA: How pseudo-politics and pseudo-science are keeping you from enjoying your health freedoms!
4. No Rad -- PROTECT YOURSELF! PROTECT YOUR FAMILY! STOP RADIOACTIVE IONIZATION BEFORE IT STARTS!
In conclusion: I still have not done my laundry, but I poked it with my foot some, and I feel like that's close enough to actual forward momentum that I'm happy with myself.