Dear God, I just had a confrontation with not only a skunk but also a racoon down the street from my house. Now, let it be known that I am not a sober person right now, and I just walked a long way in the cold to get to my home. Let it be further known that I have no natural ability for running, but when that racoon reared up on it's hind legs in front of me and made a strange hissing noise, I threw my lighter at it and ran like the wind for maybe two full blocks. Maybe more. But my point is, hell, did I ever run. And then! Then! On the steps to my house - finally safe from racoons -- what do I find but a skunk with its tail arched threateningly at me as it snorfled away at the ground eating whatever it is that skunks eat. I had to wait it out before I could get in because I live on the second floor and there's simply no way to get inside without going through the front door unless I wanted to crawl into my brand new downstairs neighbors and be like, "Hey guys, yup, I'm drunk. I live upstairs. Your band is really loud and it blows and I'll be going now, see you later, bye".
I mean sweet Christ, I do not live in a very forresty area. There are trees on my street, sure, but tamed and domesticated tended trees. There aren't wilds! Why, then, am I surrounded by WILDLIFE!?!? What's next? Bears?!?!?!?!