Being sick makes me a wholly irrational creature, especially because I've been sick for an entire fucking week. Longer, kind of. This just needs to end. Granted, the way I've been dealing with the sick has generally been to go out at night until and and get up early to do lots of work, so maybe there are a couple of clues buried somewhere in there. But. I *hate* being sick. And it reduces me to a level of irrationality that you only usually see in people who are both six years old and mostly asleep and a huge wonking brat.
I. Hate. It.
I'm seriously going to hold my breath until I turn blue or get better and throw a temper tantrum and throw things and I really just want to stop feeling so *awful* is that so complicated? Give me my health back! Now! Now! Now!
Dear Virus: I hate you and your assface.
1) I've taken care of a boa constrictor with the flu.
This was part of what was, possibly, one of the weirdest summer jobs known to man. I was house sitting for a lot of people around town which then led to pet sitting for several people which led to even *more* pet sitting because the vets liked to reccomend me. At any rate, one family had three big snakes and I noticed that one of them seemed...not well. Fact you might not know: not often do vets treat the big reptiles. Luckily my hometown had a herpetologist around who had, actually, bred these three boas. He taught me how to admnister medication and also how to help the snake blow it's nose and offered me a job. I smiled and said no thanks.
2) I've spent the night at a military airport in Iceland.
It was a long time ago, but it did happen. We were on a flight to Ireland and had to stop due to weather patterns. The blankets were green and scratchy and it was quite cold.
3) I know how to operate a backhoe.
A big dirty lie. I probably could pick a backhoe out of a line up, but honestly, I make no promises.
4) I can sing Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen backwards.
Yeah. I know. Shut up.
5) I have been injured by someone wielding a spork.
Those things are sharper than you'd think. Even in plastic they can break the skin.
I was so going to go out and listen to jazz tonight. I was excited. Damned *expletive deleted* sickness. I hate it. I hate everything. *pouts*