August 12th, 2004


The Siezure of $300 from a Pig Woman in Beverly Hills (I wish to be tense)

This. Actually. Happened.

Scene: Nifra is in her car, and behind her, in the back seat, there is a rabbit in a pet-transport-thing. She is driving happily, toward the vet's, where she will leave said rabbit. And then, she hears a noise: that of a cage unlatching itself. And another noise! That of a rabbit! Jumping!

She turns to see what is going on, and the rabbit sits on the back seat, staring at her.

Nifra: Fuck.

She pulls over to the side of the road promptly, puts on her hazard lights, and turns off the car. The rabbit jumps into the passenger seat. Nifra reaches for it, it jumps into the back again, she overbalances and lunges.

She falls into the footwell in the back seat, her feet up against the window. It is incredibly uncomfortable, and undignified.

Nifra: Fuck.

The rabbit -- hereafter to be referred to as THAT GODAWFUL BEAST (TGB for short) -- jumps within reaching distance. Nifra scrambles up, half onto the seat and half off, and reaches for it.

TGB bites her wrist.

Nifra: *howls at the top of her lungs not unlike a person being eviscerated*

Rabbit: *jumps*

Nifra grabs at the rabbit, with both hands, and finally catches it, however -- naturally -- she looses her balances and falls back into the footwell, clutching TGB to her chest, and casting aspersions on it's entire species, in unprintable language.

Cue knock on the window over her head. Where there is standing a cop.

Rabbit: *bites again*

Nifra: *yelps, biting back howl*

Cop: What are you doing?

Nifra: I was catching the rabbit, officer.

Rememeber that Nifra is still prone in the footwell, with the cop looming over her.

Cop: Are -- are you all right?

Nifra: Well, he bit me, but I think it'll be okay.

Cop: Why -- why were you catching the rabbit?

Nifra: I have to get it to safety.

Cop: Have you been drinking?

Nifra: Not yet, no.

Cop: Uh-huh. Get out of the car, please.

Nifra: I -- would really love to, officer, but I'm going to need your help with the rabbit.

Cop: Why exactly are you traveling with an unsecured rabbit?

Nifra: He isn't unsecured!

Cop: Out of the car please, ma'am.

....anyway. I convinced the man I wasn't drunk, got the rabbit back into the cage, and realized this is was all very very funny. My wrist is all red and puffy from the bites.

I loathe rodentae.
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