December 24th, 2004

rock star ioan

Oh, where, oh where, could my mojo be?

I have, it would seem, lost my mojo.

My scrabble mojo.

Now, I know what you're thinking ("Nif, how can this be? I thought you were the favored child of the gods and goddesses of Scrabble! I thought that you prayed to those tiny square blocks and their little black letters before going to sleep everynight! I thought you bought dictionary after dictionary to appease the demanding Rules!") and it's all true. This is why I was so shocked.

I lost two games in a row. This is unheard of. Granted, I had four Ns, and a couple of letters I think may have secretely been cyrillic script, but still, the out come shocked and -- dare I say? -- hurt me deeply. Mojo, where could you have gone? Why would you have left me in my hour of need?

I felt so alone, mojo. So very, very, alone.

My mojo issue extends, apparently, to wrapping gifts. Y'all, I -- so here's the situation. I've bought presents. I've wrapped them.

In a manner of speaking.

See -- there's paper. Affixed to the gifts, with tape. And there are little name-tags, perched precariously on the corner, and they say things like "To Nif!Bro! Love, Nif! May Weasels Rip Your Flesh If You Already Have This!" etc. etc. There are even ribbons.

So, really, it should be a done deal. They should be ready to be placed beneath the tree, and then ripped open on Saturday morning.

The only problem with that scenario is that the way in which I've wrapped them makes the presents look like hostile blocks with spines, lurking threateningly in the shadows and waiting for people to let down their gaurd just long enough to get one good bite in with their venomous, curled, gold-ribbon fangs.

*sighs heavily* I just -- I wrapped them wrong. I don't know how. But I did. And I don't think I can undo it, because I'm vaguely afraid to touch them.

And, thirdly? My epic struggle with inanimate objects of all kinds continued today as I battled a futon for primacy and was viciously defeated. DAMN YOU IKEA! DAMN YOU AND YOUR EVIL, AFFORDABLE MINIONS!

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