June 29th, 2005

rodney idiots - icon_ascenscion

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

The government trusts me to vote, drive, drink and get married. My mother, apparently, doesn't trust me to be alone in a house over night.

"You sure you'll be okay?" she asks me, on the nine hundredth call of the day. "I mean, there are locks on the doors, and you can use the --"

"I swear to you, I've been alone in a house before," I tell her.

She gasps, shocked. "WHEN?"

When I was fourteen, she was much less protective. It's like in her mind I'm growing backwards; is this empty nest NOW setting in? And if so, why? Her nest is full! Her nest is overflowing! Her nest has children in it who, at sixteen, watch scary movies in broad daylight and end up standing outside of the house, huddled in the sunlight, hissing into the phone to their sister (me) and their mother that someone has to come home immediately, because the house is haunted, okay, haunted!! and they've squirted holy water everywhere, and it's done nothing. That's the kind of chick she's got in her nest!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash all the soy milk off of my feet and say a couple "Hail Starbucks" to placate the coffee maker god, so that maybe tomorrow less capuccino foam will end up on my person.
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sloth - miss_jaffacake

Apologetically yours.

What this post is not: 1) the post I plan to make on avoiding bear attacks, including a segment called "Know Your Bears" with pictoral refrences, 2) the political thoughts I've been mullings since becoming immersed in the ultraconservative, Southern, Catholic environment of my family, 3) funny stories I've been saving up about my trials and tribulations here in the bosom of my loving family and my ongoing war against the capuccino machine, 4) fic of any kind.

What this post is: a meme!! Because, let's face it. Ever since I've started having limited internet access time, I've been very very light on the 'active content' side. Someday, though. Someday I will rise up and become the poster I once was. Until then, though:

Gacked from qe2:

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me.

It can only be one word. No more.

Then, if you like, copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.
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