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27 February 2006 @ 03:22 pm
leave at your own chosen speed  
i am feeling low today. there's something pleasing about the way those words go together, though the sensation itself i could probably do without. is it 'cellar door' that's supposed to be the most beautiful phrase in the english language? i can't remember, but it is a lovely phrase. also, my internets are slow. hi, this post so far is brought to you by free association.

at any rate, i have several things i want to say. first, let's talk about bsg, shall we?

the last episode was a really redeeming episode after the slew of less than awesome episodes we've had since the death of Herr Caine, who i miss more and more as the revolving door of pegasus command goes round and round. i haven't really said anything about bsg since she died, because i've been trapped in an unneccesary flashback - much like the series itself. i don't really know what the hell is going on with the writers addiction to that conceit, but i feel that 1) its getting old and 2) they are doing a crap job of maintaining what's happening when timewise because of it. so, you know. y'all could stop with the flashbacks.

at any rate - they blew my mind again with the whole 'caprica six has a hallucinatory baltar omg' thing, but it makes it almost harder for me to accept hallucinatory six in this weird way. because clearly that six is not the same woman as the woman on caprica is. that's the six that baltar met - with all the same agendas and motivations as the six that baltar met, and none of the redemptive impulses. the contrast between the six that blew up at baltar while questioning her faith and the six who faltered through sharon's apartment trying to overcome her own questions about what the cylons are doing was very marked. the six that demanded baltar procure plutonium is not the same woman who would say that genocide is wrong.

the slew of sixes we've met on bsg seem to all be different. for the purposes of me talking about it: let hallucinatory six= 6v.1, shelley godfrey=6v.2, gina=6v.3, and caprica six=6v.4. Of those, 6v.3 and 6v.4 - this season's creations - are the most human, and i think that ties in with the overarching theme of what it is to be human, and individuality that this season has been toying with. interestingly, this second half of the season has made a really strong effort to make us see the monstrous in the human, while season one had the burden of making us believe in cylons as bad guys.

6v.3 has pretty much been weirdly abandoned by the show, which i kind of resent. i was incredibly excited by her, and baltar's scenes with her in the cain episodes are some of the strongest of the series. i loved seeing her different take on faith, and seeing her question the plan of the cylon god/the cylon propaganda about the cylon god. i loved seeing her breaking down when baltar tried to kiss her. i really don't get what she's doing in the fleet, though i suppose i'm supposed to make some kind of paralell between her mission to make humans seek peace with the cylons and 6v.4's new found mission to try and make the cylons seek peace and coexistence with the humans, but i just haven't seen enough of it to really get that. i question what 6v.3 is doing, and her motivations - is she acting as a cylon to disseminate discontent within the fleet, or is she legitimately trying to end the war? i just don't know, and i'd love to see more. frankly, what i was really hoping would happen with her would be that she would catalyze the destruction of 6v.1's hold on baltar, and that we'd stop having her around, not because i don't love the character, but rather becuase i think it would be an interesting thing to see baltar without that crutch. i want to see him operating on his own head of steam, and while i get that he's an incredibly weak and self serving guy, i'd like to see what he would become with 6v.3 guiding him and his own judgment rather than constantly following the advice of the beautiful cleavagey slutbomb that is 6v.1.

6v.1 has remained a fairly static character throughout. she continues to proslethyze about the cylon god, and his plans, and to use sexual power as a manipulation, and the only times we've seen break throughs with her were last episode after the supposed death of hera (and really, man, that was way fucking harsh - poor helo! and poor sharon, too, but mainly the one i feel for is helo who is being betrayed by his own people and dude, if i was him, and i found out about all of this, i would freak the hell out and fuck shit up left right and center, but he won't because he's helo and his parents taught him to use his words and talk through disagreements until a place of mutual love and respect can be found) and also when they first found the pegasus brig/torture chamber with her duplicate, prone and agonized.

well, maybe that's not fair - maybe she cracked a little when the resurrection ship was destroyed. this is actually the second time she's told baltar he's commited an unforgivable sin that the cylon god will not forget. which makes me wonder if that relationship is going to be on the skids now, and if you can't maintain a relationship with a hallucination who adores you, then the rest of us are doomed. i just want to throw that out there.

the hallucination of baltar, now that i think about it, is as equally different from the actual man as the hallucination of caprica six is from the woman. the faux!baltar is more a male hallucinatory six, with a human agenda - he's self-posessed, he talks about love, he is confident and he is more righteous than baltar has ever been.

food for thought: are we supposed to be assuming that the nuclear explosion created these shades? or is it a love thing? if so, that's really interesting, because these products of love are certainly an strange reflection on the kind of love that these two have. but perhaps not innacurate. carnal, jaded and manipulative -- that's them as we've known them.

okay, so here are a couple of things unrelated to that: 1) anders, wtf? why are you on my show? i resent your existence, and your stupid hair. i hope that sometime you will do something that will interest me, or that you will never be used again. that is all.

2) sharon on galactica: if there was ever a way to turn that woman back into an agent for the cylons, roslin found it, and it worries me for poor helo. it worries me.

3) sharon on caprica: omg how much did i love that the cylons hadn't really provided for the possibility that, uhm, creating a model to be completely human would prove inevitably stupid given the downloading process? the whole thing about 'boxing' her and caprica six was really sinister. i mean, really, really sinister. i don't know how, precisely, these two plan to convince the cylons in thirty six hours that they're right, and was kind of hoping that they'd take off into the hills with anders and help that movement (though don't mistake me: i resent anders existence, no really). but here's a shallow thing: she looked way fucking hot in this episode. i mean, really. way fucking hot.

4) chief and helo and hera's 'funeral': i had known that i had missed chief, but not how much until i saw him there watching the baby's ashes float away with the fictitious space wind. god what a good man he is. what a good man. hackthis, seriously, you can have helo as your baby!daddy if i get chief.

secondly on the agenda i would like to say the following things about sga: i have had a ronon epiphany. that epiphany is that i love ronon, and his smooth, beautiful skin, and his gleaming biceps. in a game of cliff/shag/marry concerning the men of sga, i would definitely marry ronon. and give him beer and cookies. together we would devour meadows filled with oreos. also, i, unlike his team and elizabeth, would listen to his input. i would be the ewok to his wookie. life would be so sweet.
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pure FORESHADOWING: a line allows progress - dog was starnifra_idril on February 27th, 2006 10:39 pm (UTC)
Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
Later, Galen thought it was strange that Dee was the one who told him. He was in the head, rubbing at the grease stains on his hands before going to the mess for lunch, or maybe breakfast, or maybe it was even dinner because he’d lost track of the last time he’d eaten. They were running low on viper parts, and the gimbals on one of the raptors kept fraking going loose on him, no matter what he did. He hadn’t seen his rack in about two days.

The water was pretty warm, he and there was a cold hand on his shoulder, and Dee said, “She’s dead.”

He didn’t have to ask her who she was talking about.

**

The baby was tiny and the plastic incubator she was lying in was boxy, shaped a little like a raptor. Her skin so thin he could see the blunt white bones of her little arms and legs.

“The birth was hard,” Cottle said as Galen stared, “too much blood, too fast. Nothing we could do.”

The doctor was still wearing scrubs that were dried and stiff and stained. Cottle was toying with an unlit cigarette, and Galen opened his mouth to say something else, something like, ‘Where’s her body?’ because even if she wasn’t his Sharon, if she’d never been his Sharon, she’d still been Sharon and he wanted to see her, one last time, please gods let this be the last time, but instead he asked, “What’s her name?”

There was a sniff and clatter from behind him, near the cot that Sharon had – near the cot, where Kara was taking care of Helo, muttering to him real quiet the whole time, and then Helo’s voice answered thickly, “Hera. Sharon wanted to name her Hera.”

The baby let out a thin squeal, and Galen stepped toward it and Hera opened her brown eyes, and looked right at him, and even though she was maybe too small, too young really, Hera looked at him, and she smiled.

Her eyes didn’t look anything like Sharon’s – not his Sharon, not any Sharon – but his throat was suddenly so tight he couldn’t swallow, and he took the two steps to the chair beside the incubator and sat down.

He put his hand against the warm plastic, and he took three deep breaths, one after the other until he could say without letting his voice break, “Hi Hera. I knew your mother.”

**

The Admiral gave Helo Sharon’s ashes in a metal canister on the third day after she died while Galen was sitting next to him beside Hera. He’d been there for hours, and his back hurt from sitting in the same metal chair every day, watching the baby sleep.
The old man didn’t say anything when he held the ashes out, and Helo took them without a sound.

“When the doc’s cleared her,” Adama began, “we can place her with a family that –“

It was almost startling to hear someone talk – Galen had gotten used to the silence, to the shuffling of nurses, the slow beeping of machines, the quiet hitch in Helo’s breathing.

“No,” Helo said, staring at the floor and Galen watched his jaw twitch. “No, thank you, sir.”

Hera was getting stronger, and holding onto Galen’s little finger with a hand that was smaller than his thumb.

“You can’t take care of a baby alone, son,” Adama told him. “You’re a pilot –“

Hera squeezed Galen’s thumb, and he cleared his throat. “He won’t be alone, sir,” he said, and both heads swung around.

Adama opened his mouth to speak again, and Helo stood up, holding what was left of Sharon in one white knuckled hand and saluted with the other. Carefully, Galen eased his hand out of Hera’s grip, out of the incubators, and he stood beside Helo.

“Thank you, sir,” he said, “but we’ll be fine.”

And Galen had always liked Adama, but never more than when Adama just nodded and walked away. He didn’t say anything about the President, or the fleet, just left, and Helo deflated into the chair.

“You don’t have to --,” Helo started.

“Yeah, I do,” Galen told him, and then they were quiet again, just listening to Hera sleep.

**

That afternoon Helo took out his old raptor and put Sharon into the stars, and Galen held Hera for the first time. He cupped her soft head and she turned her face into his hands.

“Lords of Kobol,” he said, “hear my prayer.”


.hackthis on February 27th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
*sobs*
Mayhem Parvaraincitygirl on February 27th, 2006 11:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
Sniffle. Need chocolate now.
Sometimes You Get Marshmallows: apolloflorahart on February 28th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
Oh! Hi. I don't know you, but I followed a link. This is lovely. Also ouchy.
peeps wanna see peeps boink: helomusesfool on February 28th, 2006 02:03 am (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
*wibble*

Oh, Chief. So much yes, darlin'. So much.
Gunbunny: flying toasterburntcopper on February 28th, 2006 05:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
wow. just... wow.
cranberryink on February 28th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
This is lovely and painful and nrrrgh!

p.s. andtheyhavehotsextheend?
The Proverbial Bull in a China Shop...: regret - by jenahnasabaceanbabe on March 6th, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Frakkin' hell. Okay this is the best I've got for right now, y'all. Perhaps more later.
Ow. Let me second that call for immediate chocolate... :(