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26 September 2003 @ 10:09 pm
It's eighty two degrees outside and there are little frogs jumping around. I must be home.  
My mother is pampering me abominably. I *love* it. There's not much to say about home other than the following things: YAY YAY YAY and a little bit more YAY.

*hugs her family incredibly tight*

Another interesting thing happened today - besides traveling almost the entire length of the eastern seabord. I discovered a truly, truly irrational and violent dislike that I have.



Do you ever watch Histories Mysteries on the History Channel? (This is a U.S. thing, I'm pretty sure.) Well they've got this guy, Arthur Kent, who does the little intros. And i hate him. Not just a little, but a lot.

He's smarmy, and not charsmatic, and his voice is bad, and his inflection is worse, and what he does with his hands when he talks is annoying. Also? He never says anything germaine. It's just bizarro bullshit that doesn't matter at all. Plus, he's totally unneccesary. They've got a narrator dude, who does his job very well, I might add, but then they've got this Arthur Kent guy all takin' the credit.

JetBlue - which I love - has this great service where you can watch TV in flight. Well, I ended up watching the History Channel, and thus Arthur Kent. And the entire time I had visions of RedK Clark showing up and being like "Uhm, hi, excuse me? Hi. Arthur? Yeah, I'm your cousin Clark. Yeah, so here's the thing. You suck. No, really, like you suck *a lot*, and we kind of think you should just go live in a hole and die."

I would have been right behind him, rooting him on.

Now, granted, this irrational hatred may have been based in one or all of the following facts: a) I was exhausted given that I hadn't slept and couldn't sleep because there's *no* way to be comfortable in a middle seat, b) I'm still a bit sick and that makes me ill tempered, c) the only thing worth watching on any of the channels was Histories Mysteries and they showed different related episodes back to back to back to back so that by the time I got off the plane I was thinking in the narrator's voice.

I felt a deep and spiritual kinship with the narrator. I think the two of us could be pals. Really.

So maybe my hatred of Arthur Kent stems from that. Maybe, also, I was projecting some Jon!Hate onto him. I don't know. All I know is that I really, really hate him.

See here's the thing. It's clear that Arthur *must* be running the show - otherwise how would he get the position of power? My poor narrating buddy is probably stuck in some dungeon somewhere with a really good sound system being forced to read the scripts for scraps of moldy bread because of the tyranny that *is* Arthur Kent.

Also - Arthur Kent says his name like he's a big shot and I would emphatically like to inform him that he is *not*.


I almost want to see him on the street so that I can slap him full in the face. The only other person on TV who provokes such a visceral negative reaction in me is James Lipton. But. Seriously. Arthur Kent, man. He's a wayward motherfucker and me and my mace are going to show him the *way*.

*swings mace menacingly*






nifra_idril: *delicate shudder* I won't start about James Lipton.
lyra_sena: awww! I can't believe you don't like him.
nifra_idril: *holds up the cross to ward off evil lipton vibes*
lyra_sena: *cries silently and shields Lipton behind my back*
nifra_idril: Get thee behind me, thou foul demon! Return from whence you came and never again flaunt your evil in the face of my solemnity!
lyra_sena: How darest thou talk thusly! This evil of which you speak is borne from thine own iniquity!
nifra_idril: Thou speakest false, fair lady, for in mine heart thou wilt find only the purest, and mildest of feelings. I am as a dove, borne aloft on currents of goodwill toward mine fellows, but when in company of those such as that evil that thou shieldest, even ambrosia must turn to acid, and so to does my nature become bitter and acerbic.
lyra_sena: Thy nature belies a truth you refuse to see, oh ye of false words. Whither I lookest into your heart, I find not mild and pure feelings aloft as doves, but instead thouest continually harbor the acerbic wit and tongue as one consumed with a bitter herb. Thou must not rely on fair looks and cunning charm to pass off one's true nature!
nifra_idril: Dude, the bitter herb ain't got nothin' on what I feel when I come in contact with James Lipton.
lyra_sena: *is vexed*
nifra_idril: *smiles sunnily thusly proving the whole 'mild as a dove' thing*



And that is all. For now.
 
 
Current Mood: deviousdevious
Current Music: Minority Report playing in the living room.
 
 
 
Adoable Frunk: kant tipelyra_sena on September 27th, 2003 02:11 am (UTC)
oh dear god, I'm still laughing.

peeps wanna see peeps boink: snarkymusesfool on September 27th, 2003 03:55 am (UTC)
*snicker*

The Scud Stud is reduced to intro- and outro-ing Histories Mysteries? Bwahahahahaha!

I also cannot stand James Lipton for more than five minutes at a time. Smarmy bastard.
-_-echoskeleton on September 27th, 2003 05:08 pm (UTC)
I've always thought that Arthur Kent was Jonathan's slightly-more-erudite-but-equally-boring cousin. The narrator-guy sounds all classy, and smart, and Arthur sounds like he should be teaching seventh grade science somewhere in the mid-West.

You know, I hate James Lipton too, but I'm starting to feel kind of bad for him. Because, seriously, everybody hates him. That must be very sad, being on a quasi-successful tv show, and knowing that everyone watching wishing you would go away.