pure FORESHADOWING (nifra_idril) wrote,

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Dueling Computers and Jazz Concerts

You know, oddly, I'm updating my LJ more now that I'm with Lyra than I would otherwise. It could be because we've both got our computers out (me, showing off my music and Lyra, busily making pretty icons and pictures -- yes, she is my photoshopslave, but shhh, keep it quiet).

Okay, first off, I make no pretension at these being organized or terribly coherent. *G* I leave coherent and thoughtprovoking analysis to latxcvi and lexcorp_hope, but some thoughts that occurred to me while watching:

1. Lex when he reverts to his 'taking care of Julian' mode for the first time does so only after seeing Lionel, so Lionel's the trigger for that. Also, he says to Clark "The baby's crying. My father woke him" or something of that nature. That's a quick and telling line, I think. Granted, it might be too easy in that kind of "Ohmygod Lionel's killed everyone he's related to" kind of way -- I'm not trying to say that Lionel maliciously killed Julian. I think that it was probably, as Lionel says, an accident. One that Lex was present for, and one that Lionel convinced Lex he was responsible for. I mean, after all - it's easy to forgive a ten year old for shaking the baby. The ten year old doesn't neccesarily know better....but the father does. Also, the dissociative quality of Lex's response to Julian's death while in boarding school tends to make me think that the death itself was more traumatic than a SIDS death that Lex just happened to find. I mean, those dissasociative repressions, and breaks are the heavy guns of coping mechanisms, right?

2. If Lex has already had one mental episode that ended in a psychotic, dissasociative break from reality -- how many times must he have begun to question his sanity and stability in Smallville? I mean, my GOD. From the first episode forward Lex is seeing things and that his rational brain must be telling him are bloody impossible not to meantion improbable. Consider it: hitting Clark but being told that he hadn't, Jude appearing in Zero...pick any instance that Lex's eyes give him information that isn't neccesarily logical, or rational. That must have been a continuous issue in his mind; is my sanity going? Is it going to happen again? Am I going to end up crazy again? It means he's been more on edge this whole time. And like in Hug, when his actions aren't neccesarily his own, and he doesn't remember them -- think about how that must upset him. I feel like it lends a new color to Lex in all the episodes we've already seen and loved.

2a. I wonder, was he institutionalized the first time, or just drugged to the gills? And wouldn't that first time probably coincide with when his mother started getting worse -- it would be a perfect way to set up more guilt issues for Lex. His brother dies - he convinces himself that he's responsible for that death -- he then is a burden on his parents, and his mother can't handle it, and gets sicker. Way to go Lex, you drove your mother into the hospital, and she never came out -- that's got to be his train of thought. It also gives his drugged clubbing a new complexion.

3. So, if Lex's "short term" memory is gone (and wow did they fuck that up if what they mean to say is that he won't remember any of what happened before being hospitalized), when he gets out of the hospital and hears what Clark did for him, he's going to feel like their relationship is closer than ever. He's going be so very *thankful*. And Clark, who knows that at the very end, he ran away, is going to want to die. He'll be overwhelmed with literally *crippling* guilt because he left Lex, because he let Lex get hospitalized (quick disclaimer: as much as Clark indicts himself for that, I don't -- from the day the Kents found him he's been conditioned against letting people know his secret). He'll also have this intense, tangible *relief* thing going on because...Lex doesn't remember his secret, and Lex still wants to be his friend. Lex still wants to be around him. So it'll be like he has a second chance, and I think it'll be interesting to see how that plays out. But the thing is, Clark will always be waiting for that second shoe to drop and when it does, it's going to drop hard.

I'm not neccesarily saying that Clark is going to be a prince amoung men and be suddenly the most honest and giving guy in the world when it comes to Lex. It's entirely possible that his years of conditioning against people knowing about him will make him even more isolationist than he already is. It's possible that he'll try to avoid Lex, because he already knows to much. It's possible that he'll push Lex away.

But then again...maybe he won't. Maybe he'll be very there, and grateful for the chance to be around Lex, his Lex, again. Which brings me ....

4. Clark, God, his faith in Lex in that episode. Everyone and their mother has said it, so I won't belabor the point, but he really does do more than 110 percent for Lex. He finds the strength to get up from a floor covered in Krypto-rosary-beads (Our bete noir, thou who art in Crater Lake...) and zoom out and stand in front of a car going 80 miles an hour. Shit, man. That's devotion...but what's even more telling devotion in my eyes is that scene where Lex begins to sing the lullaby and Clark stands there with him. What must that be *like* for Clark - this man he idolizes, his *best friend*, someone who's always entirely in control of every situation -- cool, calm, composed in the face of everything (murderous wives, ghosts from the past, madmen with guns, jonathan kent's duckbilled hair style) -- is *out of his friggin' mind* in front him. How much must that *hurt*? How much must that make Clark feel like he's getting older every bloody second? Man, oh, man. I love it. I love it, love it, love it.

5. Johnny Cash. I love Johnny Cash. And that is all.
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