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06 January 2004 @ 11:59 pm
Letters to the void.  
Dear Clark (You Absentee Bastard),

Listen up, dude. I've been good to you. Over all, I've been damned good to you. I've defended you. I've hooked you up with Lex repeatedly, I've never treated you like the big dumb animal you can be from time to time. I've never made you princessy, and I *certainly* haven't made you make out with Pete. I've never forced you to lay eggs, or have a self-lubricating penis, or turn into a girl. I've let you be as close to a normal as you are. Which, okay, not that close you big alien freak. You had it good here, you hear me? And I'm not saying you won't have it that good again -- because, hey, there are a lot of talented people out there. But we had magic. Real magic. And now I'm trying to get you back into bed with Lex -- who, by the way, I've been very good to as well and who is likewise conspicuously absent at the moment -- and you are just *so* not cooperating. Don't you *want* me to finish ADS so you can live happily ever after? Don't you *like* happily ever after? Come back to me, you spandex wearing jack ass. I miss you.

Dear Hercules: The Legendary Journeys,

Thank you for being totally ridiculously wonderful. Thank you for having the Viet Cong Rat Demons and the Art Deco Chalice of Doom today. It was appreciated sincerely.

Dear Lyra,

Thank you for dealing with the petulance that is me when I can't write what I want to write. I'll send you a muffin basket. *nods firmly* Maybe a virtual muffin basket, but a muffin basket just the same.

Dear Neighbors,

You are screaming at each other in French in the driveway. This is displeasing to me. If you do not stop I will throw water balloons filled with A1 at your heads. Consider this your warning.

Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: Le Tigre - The Empty
Adoable Frunk: kiss my asslyra_sena on January 7th, 2004 05:06 am (UTC)
*laughs hysterically at the letter to Clark*

*giggles over the Art Deco Chalice of Doom*

*loves you unconditionally and loves blueberry muffins, as well*

*sends you truckload of purple balloons*

and lastly, *smooches*

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^jaymalea on January 7th, 2004 05:18 am (UTC)
Maybe Clark needs a spanking. *grins*
Jerlugonn on January 7th, 2004 05:49 am (UTC)
With a red kryptonite paddle, so he'd feel it the right way. That should bring him out of hiding.
sageness on January 7th, 2004 05:50 am (UTC)
care & feeding of the muse(s)
Clark can be such a petulant bitch sometimes. Pretty, though. And warm and cuddly and pretty...oh, hi Lex. *g*

A few days ago, I tried to woo my inner Chloe with half a brandied-apple pie from the grocery store bakery. (Peach-praline pie worked pretty well for Martha, so I thought I'd give apple a shot with Chloe.)

Guess who showed up instead? Clark. And is he ever serious about his pie. (6000 words & he's *still* talking.)

Next, I'm going to try to lure Chloe out with a tub of chocolate covered espresso beans. The daily poorman's mocha-whip apparently isn't enough...and, despite what the show gives us, our girl does not live on lollipops and cotton-candy alone.

At this rate, I suspect I'll be on a fast-food binge for the rest of the week. :P

*sends you, Clark, and Lex each a slice of brandied-apple goodness*

Best of luck! :)
CJ Andrecjandre on January 7th, 2004 02:54 pm (UTC)
I've never forced you to lay eggs, or have a self-lubricating penis, or turn into a girl. I've let you be as close to a normal as you are.

Maybe that's what he's waiting for try writing him really alien, and see what he does. Sometimes he comes back just to object. Somtimes he takes off with it. Maybe try a drabbling with a really different Clark and see if that jump starts him.

The other thing I do is re=read the story from the beginning, on paper, and then write, on paper for about an hour or so. Somehow getting away from the computer always works for me.

Good luck!
iykwim: frostnglowiykwim on January 7th, 2004 04:23 pm (UTC)
oh my...
This is so awesome!! I had to add you to my friend's list. Almost. Died. Soo funny! Especially the letter to your neighbours consider this your warning and the one to Clark... HAHA! rose_emily and I really enjoyed it since we are often this crazy ourselves! :) (See icon... or see rose_emily's recent post on Smallville the Musical...)