Additionally, I must learn to stay away from the firewater. Sure it looks pretty and says "Captain" on it and makes me think of Johnny Depp and all of that. But the truth is that the alcohol is bad and evil and means only to kill me, as evidenced by the fact that as I said before I am either dead or dying right now. Furthermore, I chose to blame all of this on Valentine's Day which is a cruel and evil excuse for a day. Had it not been Valentine's Day, perhaps the party I went to wouldn't have disintegrated into a vortex of weird. Who knows?
Okay. Moving on.
I've been thinking about Lana lately -- and here I pause so that all of you can groan and say, "Dear God *why*?" -- and I'm wondering. She's in the same year as Clark, Chloe and Pete, right? So that means that as a freshman she was dating not only a senior, but a popular senior who happened to be a varsity athlete, captain of the football team, even. And taking that further, if we assume that the pilot episode shows the first day of high school (which I think we're supposed to assume given the football situation), then she and Whitney have been dating for a while. Which would mean that in the summer preceding her freshman year, Lana started to date a rising senior? Is it just me, or does that not sound to you at all like the politics of high school? I mean, how do you even justify that at *all*? I guess you could say that maybe they met before school started due to practice schedules -- Lana and the cheerleading squad and Whitney with the football team. Again, though, a rising senior dating an incoming freshman? The only way that I can explain this to myself is by saying that Lana was the Freshman Fuck of that year.
Let me explain the Freshman Fuck phenomenon (spiffy alliteration, no?) for those of you who weren't graced with that lovely custom. At my high school, there was sort of a competition thing that happened between upper classmen -- they'd declare a girl the Freshman Fuck and they'd all try to get with her. Seriously, it's the stuff teen movies are made of, and utterly awful to boot. It's a kind of hazing that is so completely deplorable as to make the way that Clark was strung up in the field look like a pat on the head. (By the by -- that always struck me as a way weird thing to have done.) But here's what's so terrible about this Freshman Fuck thing; without fail after the girl's been gotten she ends up being old news pretty fast, and the girl didn't know what was happening to her in the first place. Often, also, the girl's branded a slut -- which is something that's *really* a bigger deal than people give it credit for being. These girls are literally seduced and then condemned for it, by the entirety of the high school class. Which is the worst part of the whole enchilada.
But as I think back on high school, that's pretty much the only situation I can think of wherein a senior guy dated a freshman girl. Now, this isn't to say that Whitney participated in anything like that -- I like Whit. I think he's basically a good guy. (Also, I am so on his wavelength about wearing sunglasses inside.) I mean, I'm sure I'm probably being overly general about this, but I'm just saying that even though AlMiles find Lana Lang totally irresistable and all that, I think the freshman stigma would make it weird for Whitney to date her, at first.
And, additionally? I'm making the call on this one: I don't think she's a virgin. Fuck that noise. Ain't no way that girl and her blonde beau didn't get it on, and plus? She totally did Clark in the barn. Man. Who wouldn't? All tall and broad shouldered with that touseled hair and those lips...I digress.
I pretty much have no point here. It's just random rambling. My brain isn't working rght, so please excuse the pointlessness.
Also -- I want to say again, Happy Birthday, Lyra! Becuase, you know what? I can.
And lastly. You know how I totally fangirl rageprufrock? So she's amazing/fabulous/great/so fucking talented it makes my head hurt or maybe that's just the light and sound/the shiznit and all that, and? She did it again, guys. She wrote this seven things story that like...I couldn't walk away from it. She deals with the Marauders at Hogwarts and it's funny, romantic, angsty, beautiful and just plain great. *insert slavish devotion here* Go read it. Like, now.