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15 February 2004 @ 03:14 pm
If I am not currently dead, than I am certainly dying right this very second. My head is imploding. Noise, sound, and motion are all the most hideous things in the world.

Additionally, I must learn to stay away from the firewater. Sure it looks pretty and says "Captain" on it and makes me think of Johnny Depp and all of that. But the truth is that the alcohol is bad and evil and means only to kill me, as evidenced by the fact that as I said before I am either dead or dying right now. Furthermore, I chose to blame all of this on Valentine's Day which is a cruel and evil excuse for a day. Had it not been Valentine's Day, perhaps the party I went to wouldn't have disintegrated into a vortex of weird. Who knows?

Okay. Moving on.

I've been thinking about Lana lately -- and here I pause so that all of you can groan and say, "Dear God *why*?" -- and I'm wondering. She's in the same year as Clark, Chloe and Pete, right? So that means that as a freshman she was dating not only a senior, but a popular senior who happened to be a varsity athlete, captain of the football team, even. And taking that further, if we assume that the pilot episode shows the first day of high school (which I think we're supposed to assume given the football situation), then she and Whitney have been dating for a while. Which would mean that in the summer preceding her freshman year, Lana started to date a rising senior? Is it just me, or does that not sound to you at all like the politics of high school? I mean, how do you even justify that at *all*? I guess you could say that maybe they met before school started due to practice schedules -- Lana and the cheerleading squad and Whitney with the football team. Again, though, a rising senior dating an incoming freshman? The only way that I can explain this to myself is by saying that Lana was the Freshman Fuck of that year.

Let me explain the Freshman Fuck phenomenon (spiffy alliteration, no?) for those of you who weren't graced with that lovely custom. At my high school, there was sort of a competition thing that happened between upper classmen -- they'd declare a girl the Freshman Fuck and they'd all try to get with her. Seriously, it's the stuff teen movies are made of, and utterly awful to boot. It's a kind of hazing that is so completely deplorable as to make the way that Clark was strung up in the field look like a pat on the head. (By the by -- that always struck me as a way weird thing to have done.) But here's what's so terrible about this Freshman Fuck thing; without fail after the girl's been gotten she ends up being old news pretty fast, and the girl didn't know what was happening to her in the first place. Often, also, the girl's branded a slut -- which is something that's *really* a bigger deal than people give it credit for being. These girls are literally seduced and then condemned for it, by the entirety of the high school class. Which is the worst part of the whole enchilada.

But as I think back on high school, that's pretty much the only situation I can think of wherein a senior guy dated a freshman girl. Now, this isn't to say that Whitney participated in anything like that -- I like Whit. I think he's basically a good guy. (Also, I am so on his wavelength about wearing sunglasses inside.) I mean, I'm sure I'm probably being overly general about this, but I'm just saying that even though AlMiles find Lana Lang totally irresistable and all that, I think the freshman stigma would make it weird for Whitney to date her, at first.

And, additionally? I'm making the call on this one: I don't think she's a virgin. Fuck that noise. Ain't no way that girl and her blonde beau didn't get it on, and plus? She totally did Clark in the barn. Man. Who wouldn't? All tall and broad shouldered with that touseled hair and those lips...I digress.

I pretty much have no point here. It's just random rambling. My brain isn't working rght, so please excuse the pointlessness.

Also -- I want to say again, Happy Birthday, Lyra! Becuase, you know what? I can.

And lastly. You know how I totally fangirl rageprufrock? So she's amazing/fabulous/great/so fucking talented it makes my head hurt or maybe that's just the light and sound/the shiznit and all that, and? She did it again, guys. She wrote this seven things story that like...I couldn't walk away from it. She deals with the Marauders at Hogwarts and it's funny, romantic, angsty, beautiful and just plain great. *insert slavish devotion here* Go read it. Like, now.
Current Mood: Dying. Right this very second.
Current Music: I'm anti-sound right now.
-_-: all about meechoskeleton on February 15th, 2004 08:25 pm (UTC)
Umm, quick nitpicky note before I go on: the Pilot's supposed to depict the time around Homecoming (which was in... October, I think), so I suppose it's technically possible that Whitney and Lana met, and began dating earlier that same year. Possible, but not likely. This is further complicated by the fact that, in the Pilot, Whitney asks Lana for help with his homework. Even if Whitney is really, really stupid, and Lana is really, really smart (pfft), unless Smallville High is, like, the worst school *ever*, senior level work should be significantly more difficult than the stuff the freshman are doing.

Add to that the fact that Lana is Homecoming Queen (who *had* to be a senior where I come from) and I've got... a headache.

My theory is that either they weren't planning on having Lana be the same age as Clark (maybe the original premise had her being a junior or senior), or simply hadn't decided exactly how old she was. Then, once they were secure in the show's history they had to make them the same age, or risk having Lana graduate before Clark. Within the show's universe, this could all easily be seen as an extension of Lana's total perfection. Even as freshman she can bag the totally hawt captain of the football team, and she's so beloved that she's automatically elected Homecoming Queen. Because Lana. is. perfect. *gags*

Although now I kinda want to write a story about how all the other pretty, popular cheerleaders at SHS *hate* Lana, and secretly mock her behind her back. Because you totally know that they would.
D: I miss eric   *sniff*quincykat on February 15th, 2004 08:28 pm (UTC)
This has always been an issue with me as well. She's a freshman, he's a senior. I know when I was in high school, this wasn't uncommon, but it wasn't that common.

And taking that further, if we assume that the pilot episode shows the first day of high school (which I think we're supposed to assume given the football situation), then she and Whitney have been dating for a while.

Hmm. I always assumed we were seeing that school had been in progress for a bit. Homecoming is usually around early to mid October, at least where I'm from. So either they hooked up the summer before, or right when school started.

They're always saying that they've been together for such a long time, and he's loved her forever, and that struck me as kind of ooky, and I remember telling someone else that Whitney had balls for going after a middle schooler.

And, additionally? I'm making the call on this one: I don't think she's a virgin. Fuck that noise.

LOL, I don't think so either. Not to be rude, but how else would she hang onto the most popular guy at school?

And now I stop, because I'm thinking about this too much again.

Teeny Gozerteenygozer on February 15th, 2004 09:00 pm (UTC)
I remember assuming for many episodes that they were all Seniors, and being astonished when it was evident we were required to believe these practically middle-aged looking "kids" were Freshies just out of Junior High School. Lana was both Homecoming Queen (with lots of old crowns from previous proms in her drawer) and a cheerleader (was she even shown as head cheerleader?) A Freshman gets to be a cheerleader by going out for cheerleading some time in the first month or so of school, when did we see Lana do this? (At least we saw the boys going out for football, though that was because not making the team was a major plot point in the pilot.) Are we supposed to believe girls who are going into a new high school try out during the previous summer, in case of a huge and immediate cheerleading need upon the start of school? Plus, everyone was so shocked when Lana quit, as if she'd devoted years to it and it was a huge part of her life.

Also, Chloe was given as the editor of the school newspaper. What administration would hand an incoming Freshman the leadership role on the school's newspaper, and where were all the Seniors who would inevitably work on the paper and expect to run it, having paid their dues over the previous 3 years of school? Did Chloe have something blackmail-ish on Principal Kwan? Or was the entire previous administration of the Torch carried off by some sort of huge meteor-rock-created slug creature, thus leaving room for Freshmen like Chloe and Clark to step in as major players? Maybe the entire Junior class was carried off the previous year, and there weren't any Seniors at all this year?

I don't know a lot about how quickly children develop, but I was wondering if Clark might not be at least a year younger than Lana: we see her in the pilot as a fairy princess and she seems a good-sized child, talking away in complete sentences that make perfect sense. I know it's canon that it took (wee alien) Clark a while to learn how to speak English, he was silent for a time (I don't think they mention how long), but the child who played him seemed to me to be much smaller and younger than the child who played Lana, much closer to being a toddler. If he did speak, I thought it might come out as part gabble with a few understandable words, given his size & youth. Maybe he and Pete (who of all of them looks the youngest) were Freshmen and Lana and Chloe were Juniors? Still wouldn't explain why the girls were Homecoming Queen/cheerleader and Editor of the Torch, but at least they'd have some experience under their belts at that point.

The show is VERY not-well-thought-out, isn't it? (This is, of course, a rhetorical question!)
Bunglegirl: Smallville Clarkbunglegirl on February 15th, 2004 10:10 pm (UTC)
Actually, in my school district we tried out for cheerleading the year before. So you would try out in May for Basketball cheerleading season which didn't start until October. It got strange for Freshman because they would have to come to the high school after their classes at the middle school to participate in the tryout clinic. Then that summer we would go to "cheerleading camp" to learn everything. I know our fall sport had clinics over the summer to condition the kids before school actually started since games start right away. It sucks for transfers but that's how it goes.

It is silly for her to be head cheerleader. However we had 3 different squads for 3 different sports so technically she could have been captain of the Freshman squad.

With Chloe I always figured that it was a club that there wasn't must interest in and she just took it over. It is strange that there's absolutely no one else working at The Torch though.

No, it's not that well thought out at all! I would assume that a show would set up a timeline of birthdates and ages just to have as a reference fo rthe writers.
Catakacat on February 15th, 2004 09:14 pm (UTC)
Let's not forget that she was managing the Talon later the same year. I just checked on google, and 14-15yo are allowed to work a maximum of 18 hours/week when school is in session. They also can't work past 7p.

D: lana; not the center of the worldquincykat on February 15th, 2004 09:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, oh! Lana managing the Talon has always bugged me. Especially when she couldn't even handle working a week at the Beanery.

The mind, it boggles.
Catakacat on February 15th, 2004 11:56 pm (UTC)
I've also been trying to figure out... is Lex the sole owner? Is he a partner with Nell? Because Lana sure as heck couldn't enter into any contracts of that magnatude.
D: happy Smallville boysquincykat on February 16th, 2004 12:11 am (UTC)
The way it sounded to me, Lex and Nell were supposed to own it together, with Nell being the manager. Then all of a sudden, Lana is the manager, and it sounds like she's a co-owner, too. I don't get it.

And who does Adam pay rent to? Lana or Lex?
Bunglegirl: Smallville Clarkbunglegirl on February 15th, 2004 10:19 pm (UTC)
Lana's details have always been a bit suspect in my mind as well. The age difference between her and Whitney is a bit disturbing (at that age) since one's just going through puberty. icky. I think the big mistake TPTB made was making Whitney a senior. He could have been a junior and still have been a start quaterback for varsity.

And word on the virgin talk. No way! If she had been dating Whitney for a long time (which was talked about) she would have to put out. And if you remember Whitney used to be a total ass at the beginning so it's not like he's a nice guy who would wait for her.

I want to know what happened to all of Lana's friends, because you know she had tons of snotty cheerleading friends. It would have been nice to see be left out since she quit cheerleading.

Clark totally got it on with Jessie too, I think Pete's the most likely virgin on the show, especially with all his wannabe womanizing.
pure FORESHADOWINGnifra_idril on February 16th, 2004 12:19 am (UTC)
Clark totally got it on with Jessie too, I think Pete's the most likely virgin on the show, especially with all his wannabe womanizing.

Dude, you've seen Wet Hot American Summer, right? He totally reminds me of the guy who's never been laid and talks about girls all the time.

I've been having the same squick factor with Lana/Whitney ever since I started thinking about their ages. It's like "Whoa. Hold up...that's...twisted. And they're the *wholesome* ones?"
Adoable Frunklyra_sena on February 16th, 2004 01:32 am (UTC)
squick? erm, my mom was in eighth grade when my dad (a junior in high school) asked her out on a date. Yeah, my parents are still married. *G*. But I do often wonder how crazy my grandparents were to let their daughter date an older guy at such a young age!

Jack Pridejack_pride on February 16th, 2004 05:24 am (UTC)
::shrug:: I started dating 18 year olds when I was 14, and my parents were okay with it. They just had a rule that they had to meet the guy before I went out with him. At the time it seemed fair... but in retrospect I'm pretty impressed that they allowed it. *g*
Bunglegirl: Smallville Lexbunglegirl on February 16th, 2004 05:33 am (UTC)
I give Smallville a tiny break for being a "small town" (since when is 45,000 a small town?) and a farming community. Do you think maybe back in our parents' time the age thing was less frowned upon? I don't think back then there was so much litigation going on about 18 and 17 year-olds having sex.