pure FORESHADOWING (nifra_idril) wrote,

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I...god help me, it's more Nifra Sue.

This...I've had a rough day. My podlet has had a rough day. People all around seem to be having a rough time of it. I thought maybe a little Nifra Sue would help cheer everybody up, so here it is, my obligatory shame:

*waves shame*

And on to the story. (Also, it's set post A Better World. I know. I'm weird. Just...yeah.)

"You guys really have to start telling me when you're going to randomly drop out of the universe for the space of a few days, okay?" Nifra said, tapping her toe as the door to the Watchtower's elevator opened. "I mean, didn't you say something about those comm sets being, oh, I don't know, literally universal*?"

"There were some -- " Superman began, and Nifra whirled around in her chair, arms crossed.

"I watch the news. I know. There were evil duplicates of you, whatever. You guys always kick the crap out of the clones, and you've got, like, twenty million messages on your voicemail from the Fortress. Which is unaccountably bitchy for an AI," she said, raising an eyebrow and leveling a glare at the Justice League as the stumbled into the bridge.

"They weren't clones," Green Lantern said tiredly as he drooped into a chair. "They were us."

Nifra blinked, thought, and then nodded. "Bizarro world?"

"No, another alternate dimension," Flash said, suddenly appearing leaning against the console. "I died. They turned evil. It was kind of neat for a vacation, but you wouldn't want to live there."

"Neat?" Superman echoed, disbelieving. "You think it was neat that we were all -- and I was -- did you *see* my outfit?"

"Honey, I have *no* idea how it is you've managed to convince the majority of the people down there that you're straight," Nifra told Superman shaking her head. "I mean, really. So you guys were evil? What did you do -- play the Macarena in all public places twenty four hours a day?"

"Not *that* evil," GL said, rubbing his forehead.

"Oh, no, just despotic rulers of the entire planet," Hawkgirl quipped, and Nifra sat up straighter, eyes flickering over toward Batman.

"You mean to tell me *he* was some kind of tyrannical ruler or the whole Earth or something?" she asked, incredulous. "That's the worst alternate dimension *ever*! Including the one with the big talking rats!"

Batman drew himself up and glared at Nifra through his mask, and she glared right back. "Your priorities never fail to be completely out of place."

"This coming from Mr. I Don't Know What Day It Is But If You Need Napalm, I've Got Some Right Here In My Belt," she replied. "A world in the palm of your hand would be a world filled with people wearing black rubber body suits, and to me? That sounds very definitely like a version of hell. Besides, even though your powers are now being used for good, Darth, I shudder to think what would happen if you used them for evil."

"Do you really always need to bring my costume into it?" Batman asked, very obviously gritting his teeth. "The rubber protects me from -- "

"Feline STDs?" Nifra offered, with a cheerful smile.

Flash fell over onto the floor laughing, and GL put his face in his hands, making undignified snorting sounds. Superman edged toward the door, eyeing Nifra and Batman cautiously.

"Oh, here they go again," Hawgirl muttered, picking up her mace. "I think I'll go see if there's anything in the kitchen. Wonder Woman said something about cookies..."

Batman flexed his hands, fingers bending as though he had Nifra's throat between them and he was throttling her. When he spoke, his voice was low, and gravelly.

"Dimensional travel has been known, in the past, to cause bouts of homicidal rage," he said, ominously.

Nifra's smile only got sunnier. "Good thing there are so many super heroes around, Dictator for Life Batman."

"You do realize that you're toying with death, right?" Flash asked from the floor as he knuckled away a tear from his eye. "I mean, one day he's totally going to space you."

"One day very soon," Batman added.

"No, he won't," she said. "He's too noble for that. Sure, he does tortured and dark like a life style choice -- which, hey! It is! But he's a good guy. Hence the whole him-being-here-thing."

"Are you sure?" Batman asked. "Perhaps I'm not your Batman at all. Perhaps I'm from the alternate dimension."

"Oh, please, you're totally not Batman version 2-point-evil," Nifra said, sounding thoroughly unconcerned. "And by the way, I could so totally be a better ruler of the world than you."

"You could *not*," Batman shot back, shocked. "You're disorganized, you're lazy, and you haven't even the slightest modicum of self control, not to mention -- "

"Yeah, sure, I'd probably be drunk with power at first," Nifra admitted, leaning back in her chair, smiling. "I mean, what girl wouldn't immediately demand Brad Pitt and Christian Kane as her own personal oiled man servants? But beyond that -- "

"Oiled man servants?" Batman repeated the words with disgust. "And this is somehow preferable to me?"

"My world," Nifra proclaimed, "would be a fun world. Big drinks with little umbrellas for all. You know what I'm saying?"

Batman stared at her for a long minute. "You're saying that you'd turn the world into Margaritaville."

"I guess...I mean, not how I would have put it, but that's fairly accurate," Nifra said after a moment's thought.

"I *hate* Jimmy Buffet," Batman and Nifra muttered in concert.

The room went still -- Nifra staring at Batman, Batman staring at Nifra, and Flash and GL watching them both. Each face bore similar shocked and horrified expressions.

"We just agreed," Nifra observed.

"We...yes. We did," Batman grudgingly conceeded. "Accidentally."

"Yeah, accidentally," Nifra hurriedly echoed, before shaking her head, as if to clear it. "That's really strange. I mean...just...oodles of odd."

"Yes, it is," Batman said grimly.

Nifra's eyes widened. "That's twice now!"

"Hey, GL," Flash whispered. "Are you sure *this* isn't Bizarro World?"

"No," GL replied, shaking his head. "I'm really not."

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