"Whatcha lookin' at?" Nifra asked peering over Superman's broad blue shoulder.
"I, nothing!" Superman said quickly, whirling around so taht his cape covered the monitor. "Nothing at all! I -- there -- I thought maybe there was dust. On the monitor. And I thought maybe I should -- with the paper towel and windex. It's -- there was nothing. Nothing at all. Hey! You look nice!"
Nifra narrowed her eyes and raised an eyebrow as she tapped her finger against her forearm. "You were watching something juicy. So *spill*, Kryptonian."
"I..me? Lie? To you?" Superman smiled widely. "I know better than that."
Nifra's other eyebrow raised to join the first. "I still have all that soymilk, you know. Just keep that in mind."
Superman paled. "You wouldn't...you wouldn't replace the cream again," he said, sounding more hopeful than sure.
Nifra took advantage of his distress to lunge over his shoulder and look at the monitor.
Where she saw a naked man, soaping up his dark hair. "Well it isn't Luthor, because he isn't bald," she said with a sly grin over her shoulder. "So tell me who the new crush is, Superman?"
"It's, I...he...we...," Superman stammered.
"What's interesting about that is that it's a whole bunch of pronouns, and in no way answers my question," Nifra said with a cheerful smile. "So how about you try again?"
She turned back to the monitor and waggled her eyebrows. "Whoever he is, he's got a nice butt."
"It's -- ah - it's." Superman muttered something, shuffling his feet and staring at the floor.
"I don't have superhearing. Civilian, remember?" she prompted, turning back toward him.
"Batman," Superman whispered.
Nifra fell out of her chair.
"That -- that -- that's -- I --" Nifra pointed hysterically at the monitor, staring in horror before scrabbling to turn it off. "Ohmygod my eyes!"
"It's -- bleach! I have to ahve bleach! Oh, god, I said his butt was cute! Oh jesus! This is -- I can't -- how *could* you?" she asked, wheeling on Superman. "You knew who it was and you let me -- oh, *man*!"
"I tried to hide it?" Superman offered, still sounding miserable.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Nifra said, looking around the room wild eyed. "This isn't happening to me. I can't...he *sings* in the *shower*?!?"
"Put your head between your knees," Superman advised, hovering worriedly.
"I'll never be able to face him *again*," Nifra moaned, dutifully putting her head between his knees. "I mean -- he wears those *ears*! And I've seen him *naked*!"
"I, uh, I meant *your* knees," Superman said helpfully.
"Oh, right," Nifra said. She sat for a moment before pushing herself up and pacing across the room, waving her hands wildly. "It's just that he's ---- and I -- I need a *smoke.*"
"I've seen him naked too," Superman consoled.
Nifra shot him a glare over her shoulder. "And you *liked* it, Captain Queer."
"Well...yeah," Superman agreed, with a grin.
"Of *course* you did," Nifra ranted, "becuase you've got this -- you've got this *thing* for autocratic control freaks with weird costuming choices. But, what you don't seem to be getting is taht we -- he and I --- are...we're nemeses. But in that fun way, you know? That way that doesn't involve me being in Arkham?"
"You should be in Arkham," replied Batman from the doorway.
Nifra whirled around, eyes wide. "Oh, God, I've seen you naked," she blurted, staring.
Batman started visibly.
Superman choked. "I -- I'm just going to go be...I'm going to go do important things in my room," he said, waving lamely as he ducked out of the room.
"You've seen me what?" Batman asked, sikily.
"Naked," Nifra said, before adding quickly, "vulnerable. I mean, I've seen you come back from fights pretty upset. And you know, very...very raw. Nude emotionally, if you will."
"I won't," Batman said.
"Right, and I totally understand that," Nifra said with a quick nod. "I get that. You're not that kind of guy. Not the kind of guy to do that emotionally naked thing at all. Okay, I've gotta go, bye."
She ducked out of the room as fast as she could with a quick, panicked smile, leaving Batman baffled on the bridge.
Taking a deep breath, Nifra squared her shoulders, and stalked toward Superman's room, already plotting her hideous revenge.